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Writer's pictureJessica Van Raay

It wasn't the response he was prepared for...

Updated: Feb 16, 2023

I throat-punched him with my words.


Unlucky for this assuming man, I had just spent a week mentally ranting about this “getting your pre-baby body back” social priority and expectation.


And weirdly, he seemed genuinely curious. I laughed partly out of surprise and partly because I knew what was coming. So ... I answered:


“Actually, I’m here to build some strength back after a pretty debilitating year and a bit. Those single leg squats you asked me to teach you? Huge win for me because I spent almost 2 years feeling terrible pain whenever I stood on one foot... like every time I took a step.


“I’ve done a lot of work to disassociate my worth and worthiness from my body. I take care of my body because I want to care for my body. I love to train. I love to move. I love how strength training filters into the rest of my life. That’s why I’m here.


“Motherhood is a lot of things ... but it is HARD. A lot of women, and still myself, are wrestling with a lot of changes physically, mentally and socially once we have kids.


”But listen. I’ve done a lot of work and I’m *still* doing the work. A lot of women haven’t had the chance to do that yet. If you asked them when they thought they’d get their body back, it could have cut pretty deep. Motherhood is hard enough without worrying about the physical size or shape our body is in while we get up all hours of the night or snuggle away tears or work to create a safe and loving space for our little humans to grow.”


We continued to have a conversation about it. I knew he didn’t mean to insinuate what he was, in fact, insinuating.


It may or may not be worth noting that I was 15 months postpartum at the time. I felt good - relieved that I was healing and excited to be able to start doing movements that were a part of my pre-baby life and over-the-moon in love with our twins.


Don’t bother trying to steal my magic, Random Guy.

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