Permission to Try It On, Say Yes, Say No, and Mess Up
Updated: May 12, 2022
It has been an incredible 4.5 years since I held our first babies.
Becoming a mom, the decision to stay at home, a move across the country, and then our third little monkey. Exciting times over here.
And reallllly hard.
As demanding as it has been, I still wasn’t sure how I was going to be when the boys went off to JK. I pushed a lot of projects and ideas off to the theoretical point when the boys started school and I only had one baby at home.
The transition has been a big one for our Famjam (...Ryan started a new job the week the boys started school AND Sophie started walking within 30 minutes of the boys getting on the bus for the first time). It was a BIG couple of days.
As a general rule, though, I love change and, dare I say, crave it.
I was giving myself a month to figure this transition out. What is going to work and what’s not.
One thing that is working is these country walks with Soph after the boys get on the bus.
There are many more things that are not working but it has been fun to experiment.
I think we could benefit from permitting space for ourselves (and each other) to transition. Life is full of transitions but there seems to be an undercurrent or pressure to “get back at it”. No chill. No assessment. No re-assessment. No breath for perspective. Well-intentioned family or friends begin to get concerned. You make mistakes. You do things that don’t work. Or feel right.
And that’s okay.
I think we severely undervalue pure experimentation.
✔️ select a purpose or outcome
✔️ try something that might fulfill said purpose or outcome
✔️ assess for effectiveness
✔️ keep it if it works for you; drop it if it doesn't
The winning trick, I think (hope) is being able to avoid labelling things as failure or success. It worked for you or it didn’t. NEXT.
I *think* 🤷♀️ getting out of the black and white and playing in the grey will be more relaxing and fun. But I’ll keep you posted. I could be wrong. It’s just an experiment ;).
[Editor's Note: Fast-forward 18 months and we're in the midst of a global pandemic; it is providing many data points that support the notion that living in the grey and giving permission to try things on, say yes/say no, and mess up with grace and compassion is a big win.]